Honest Roundtable Discussion Among Working Moms @ Tokyo office

 In recent years, more and more women are continuing to work after childbirth. Even so, it is hard to imagine what it will be like after maternity or paternity leave. How do mothers and father manage to work after childbirth and how do they manage their work and family life? Many mothers in the Kono Seisakusho Group are also taking active roles while raising their children. We interviewed two sales office staff members to find out how they are actually spending their days.

Left: Ms. A  Right: Ms. M

Ms. AWorks at the Management Department; mother of two girls.
Ms. M:Works at the Marketing Support Department (MSD); mother of one girl.
ItoWorks at the Corporate Communication Divisin; mother of one boy.

Ito  Thank you for joining us today. I would like to start by asking how long you both took leave, including maternity and childcare leave. Please also tell us how long it has been since you returned to work.

Ms. A It was right around the time when the pandemic started, so including those special circumstances, I think I took about two years off for maternity and childcare leave. It has also been two years since I returned to work. Ms.M, you are also almost the same, aren’t you?

Ms. M That’s right. I took a leave of absence for about two years, and it has been two years since I returned to work.

Ito  I also took a leave of absence for about two years, including maternity and childcare leave, and returned to work in April of this year. In the beginning, My nerves were a little bit strained, probably due to the fact that I was very tense, and there were many days when everything went smoothly, and I felt like things were going better than I had imagined… (laugh) But then more and more unexpected things started happening, and I sometimes felt like a mad rush in the morning. I had a hard time after I came back to work.

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Difficulties and hardness after returning to work

Ito  After you two returned to work, did you ever feel like ”this wasn’t supposed to be like this” or ”it was surprisingly okay”?

Ms. A Rather than balancing work and childcare, the first thing that troubled me was the turnover of new hires and quitters during my absence, so I didn’t know their names… (laughs) In addition to that everyone at Corona was mainly working from home and no one came to the office, and they were all wearing masks…. It was hard that I didn’t know who was who and couldn’t remember who was who!

Ms. M Abourt 2 years have passed since I started the maternity/paternity leave. I wonder if it was difficult at first to get used to the atmosphere of the company. Also, I felt somewhat sorry for the other members of the same Department who were so considerate of me.

Ms. A Even if you have applied for short-time work (a short working hour system), when the time comes, you must be hesitant at first, “Is it really OK to go home?” (laughs).

Ms. M That’s right. Everyone around me told me not to worry about it, but at first, I was actually worried about it.

Atmosphere of the company

Ito  That’s right. Everyone in each department is really kind, and I feel that I am really helped by everyone around me, and conversely, there is a supportive atmosphere. So, as soon as I returned to work, my worries about whether I would be able to continue to work the same as before immediately disappeared. Did you feel anything?

Ms. A Everyone treats me the same as before, and it’s friendly for moms to work. Before I returned to work, I was worried that I would get a bad look, or that I would be sarcastic, but there was no such thing.

Ms. M Before I returned to work, I was also worried that something like that might happen because of the general image of maternity and childcare leave, but nothing happened at all (laughs).

Ito   Yes, when I returned to work, I sent a greeting e-mail to everyone and many colleagues said, “Welcome back.” I almost cried.

Our walk style after returning to work

Ito  It seems that some people have this image or anxiety about work style after taking maternity leave, such as, “I wonder if I will be able to return to work in the ideal condition after returning to work.

Ms. A Through consulting with my boss, I have been in charge of an assistant person for the tasks with deadlines, not as a main person and mainly in charge of tasks that can be done without working with other colleagues. Doing these tasks, even if I suddenly take a day off, won’t affect my colleagues, and I can manage the progress myself. In that sense, it may not be exactly the same way of working as before.

Ms. M Well, it can’t be exactly the same as before, and I think I spend more time on an assistant task than what I used to do before. Of course, some of the tasks I used to be in charge of have been done by me again. However, Considering in case I suddenly receive a phone call at the office from the nursery to “pick up my son”, I am not involved in the task and the date that needs to be reported every day. My boss has been allocating tasks to me observing the balance and says to me that she gradually gives me back some of the tasks I used to be in charge of while looking at my situation.

Ms. A I can’t suddenly tell the customer that I’m taking a day off today and I think it is difficult for me to be in charge of that kind of task.

Ito  It’s not everything goes exactly the same as before. However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t work what we want and can’t work in the style we want.

Tips for time management

Ito  Do you have any tips for time management or any other ideas for balancing work and family life? For example, do you prepare all your luggage at night so that you don’t have to rush around in the morning?

Ms. A I also finish the preparations the day before and prepare dinner in the morning.

Ito  Do you have time for that?!? What time are you awake!? What time are you leaving home?

Ms. A I get up at 6:00 a.m. and leave at about 7:45 a.m.

Ms. M ・・・! In that short time!?

Ito  You must be tired before you leave for work.

Ms. A I am tired every day (laugh)

Ito  When I just returned to work, I thought I would meal prep for weekdays on weekends, but when it came time for the weekend, I was too tired…(laughs) Cooking sometimes requires energy and time! Do you meal prep on weekends?

Ms. A That takes up a lot of time, so I cook and add little by little. For example, Today I cook more carrot rapé than usual, and the next day I cook more eggplant dishes… If you keep doing that every day, you will have a variety of side dishes!

Ito  How about you, Ms. M?

Ms. M I do meal prep and finish preparations the day before. I think I am good at cutting corners (laughs).

Ms. A  Ha-ha-ha.. (laughs)

Ito  You’re good at cutting corners…! It’s nice (laughs) For example, what kind of cut corners?

Ms. M I use a detergent that I just spray on and clean the bathtub without scrubbing. I also do the laundry in batches when I can. Also, my child is quite calm and does not mind going to daycare, so I think I have less trouble.

Ito   I wonder if your child is calm because you are calm…

Ms. M  She is a “mature” child. Sometimes I think she is more mature than I am (laugh). (lol) Sometimes I even feel like, “How many times have you lived this life?

Ito   Ha-ha-ha…(laugh) Which situation do you feel that?

Ms. M  It’s the situation in which she imitates her teachers. I didn’t teach them, but she says adult things. Suddenly she starts saying things like, “Unfortunately, today….

Laugh together

Tips for raising children

Ito  I have the impression that both of you do not “scold” your children, but rather “tell them off” or treat them in a calm manner.

Ms. A I do scold my daughters when necessary.

Ms. M I sometimes treat them as if they were adults, not as if they were children.

Ito  I tend to get emotional… Do you treat them calmly or do you treat them with respect as a person, not as a child?

Ms. A I hope I can respect them. (laughs)

Ms. M Indeed, I may be treating them as if they were adults without realizing it.

What is important in raising children

Ito In addition to that, there are other things that are important in child-rearing, such as “This is non-negotiable!

Ms. A I think it is to let children do what they want to do without giving them too much control unless their lives are in danger. Even if there is a piece of playground equipment that I don’t think is safe from a young age, I try to let them do it while keeping a close eye on them.

Ito  So you really respect their willingness.

Ms. M  I also try to give them as much freedom as possible to do what they want to do. I also try to make my own life as comfortable as possible so that my feelings will be conveyed to the children.

Ito  That’s wonderful.

Ms. M When I feel like I’m going to say “Haa”, I tell myself that if I do that, it will take more time (laugh)

Ito  You said your child was calm, but did you have any unpleasant moments?

Ms. M There was, but it was short.

Ito   I know I shouldn’t get angry, but when I go over my limit, I tend to say, “Oh, no!” and I often make her cry even more….

Ms. M You’ll regret it if you make her cry.

Ms. A If I make them cry, I try to make up with them in the end.

Ms. M That’s right! It is a follow-up. I say, “I’m sorry I was angry with you earlier. When I do something wrong, I try to apologize myself. I try to say “thank you” and “I’m sorry” on a regular basis, which is related to the aforementioned respect for each other as individuals.

Ms. A When they are upset, it’s impossible, so it’s after time has passed and they have calmed down.

Ms. M Yes, correct. (I strongly agree with you.)

Laugh-out-loud episodes during child-rearing

Ito  Do you have any episodes of laughing hysterically while raising children? Even if it’s like a big pinch, it’s okay (laugh).

Ms. A The hardest time was when I had a fever of 40 degrees Celsius and had to take care of my child. I had to cook dinner for her even though she had a fever and take a bath with her while saying, “I’m cold. Even when I told her to stay away from me when she went to bed because she might catch a cold, she wouldn’t leave me….

Ito  She must be a mom’s girl! It must be mentally and physically demanding to have to take care of your child even when you are sick. The mothers of the world are amazing!

Ms. A Now that I have experienced this, I think I will be able to survive even if I get an infectious disease, which is now very popular (laugh).

Ito  How about Ms M?

Ms. M My son loves to talk. Sometimes he makes a mistake. He keeps saying “Ultraman” for “Ultramaran” (laugh). For example, he says “Tomokoroshi” for corn.

Ms. A My daughter kept saying “chicken” for the skipping rope. (laughs).

Ms. M At first, I wondered what he was talking about. When I listened to it a lot, I was like, “Ah, is this what you’re talking about?”

It’s so cute how he’s mispronouncing things, but he’s trying so hard to convey his message!!!

Ms. A Come to think of it, my younger daughter is very active and athletic, but the other day when I was accompanying her on a parent-child excursion, I was surprised when an unacquainted person who was attending the excursion said to me, “Isn’t your child’s core too strong? When we were playing Tarzan rope, other children were doing it gently, but my daughter glided vigorously! When she fell off a chair the other day, her body seemed to naturally get into a stance to catch herself, and she landed on the ground like an Olympic athlete. I was laughing so hard.

Ms. M That’s amazing! (laugh)

Ito  You are too athletic! (laugh)

Ms. A When I praised her, she was so motivated and said, “In the future, I will be an Olympic athlete.

Ms. M I am looking forward to her future!

Ito  I want to get her autograph now (laughs) Thank you both for taking the time to do this interview.

This was supposed to be a round-table discussion about tips for balancing work and family, but I ended up asking about parenting because of the kindness of the two (laughs).

They told us how to cope with the horrible threes, how to put the baby to bed, and many other things. I feel once again that it is very nice to have someone in the company who is also a working mother to consult with.

Thank you very much for accepting the interview. In the next issue, we would like to talk to male employees who have taken maternity leave. Please look forward to it!

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